From the time you’re old enough to reason and think for yourself, when you decide “I want to be ….. when I grow up”, you start planning your life.  You begin by planning your school classes and your extra-curricular activities.  If you’re fortunate enough to meet someone you want to spend your life with, you start planning a wedding, then to buy a house and to have children.  You plan for your child’s education, etc. With a lot of hard work, compromise and some sacrifices, you’re able to accomplish all your goals and settle into a comfortable life.  Eventually you start thinking about how you want to spend your retirement and working toward that goal.  Then one day life throws you a curve – totally unexpected and unplanned for.

That’s what happened to me when my husband of 31 years, Paul, was diagnosed with liver cancer and given eight months to live.  There is a song about finding out you are dying and doing all the fun things you never took the time to do.  The song says “I hope one day you get to live like you were dying.”  What bull.  All Paul and I thought about was doing all that could be done to save his life.  It wasn’t possible.  Paul died almost two years ago and my life plan veered off course.

Facebook was a comfort at first – it gave me something to look forward to and a way to socialize without leaving the house.  But it has lost its luster and I need something more to keep my mind engaged.  I have never kept a journal or diary, although I’ve always enjoyed writing, so I decided to start a blog.  WordPress encourages you to have a theme for your blog to attract people with similar interests, but this blog won’t have a theme.  It will be about what I have been doing to keep myself busy, my thoughts and interests and some stories about happenings in my life, past and present.  Purely selfish, I’m afraid, but maybe you’ll find it of some interest.

One thought on “About

  1. Reading this made my heart ache. And I agree with your assessment of that song. My dear friend and herding instructor lost her husband to cancer a few months back. They didn’t get to live like they were dying either. Lately I’ve been taking her out to ride with me. She hasn’t been on a horse in almost 30 years, but it’s helping her find her way again. I’ve clicked the “follow” button as we seem to have some things in common …. music, pets and probably more from having grown up in the same era. I’ve been married to the same man for 30 years. When he gets on my nerves I’ll come back and read this so I can be reminded not to sweat the small stuff. 🙂


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