There’s a monster in my closet

I arose this morning to the second alarm.  I let Andre out to relieve himself and took care of my business.  Then I went into the closet to gather my clothes for the day, when I saw a HUGE spider climbing up one of my blouses.  It’s a good thing I had already taken care of business because this thing was as big and black as Andre’s nose (a miniature tarantula).  I left the closet to try to find something to kill it with.  My husband and son tell me not to kill spiders because they eat other bugs.  If I insist, they pick them up and carry them outside. However, if they had seen this sucker, they would have killed it too.

Fly swatter?  Too small.  Shoe?  I would have to get too close.  So, I grabbed the shop vac and attached the extension tube and went back to the closet.  He wasn’t on the blouse any more.  Fear ran up my spine.  Then I saw him on the clothes rod.  I turned on the vac, which is pretty loud, and of course he started to move.  My adrenalin kicked in and I aimed the hose.  I’m pretty sure I got him because I heard a thump in the tube, but just to be sure, I decided to run the vac on the floor under the clothes.  If you’ve never used a shop vac, they are way more powerful than a sweeper, and the hose is a lot bigger in diameter.  I accidentally sucked up a pair of footies.  But that’s okay, I figure they pushed the monster all the way down.

The shop vac has two outlets – one for sucking and one for blowing.  I inserted the end of the hose into the blowing outlet.  Now if the monster is still alive and tries to climb out, he will go right back into the vac.  I told myself that the vac is sealed really well because it also sucks up water, but even so, I rolled the vac out onto the deck.  Hopefully the monster will freeze.I managed to get ready for work, but after that adrenalin rush, I was pooped.  I hate to admit it, but  I’m afraid to go back into the closet.

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